Day 36 (Prague, CZ)

For all you out there wondering when I was ever going to post again, Congrats!

Here it is. Be happy.

I actually have been writing a ridiculous amount lately but it's all been channeled to my screenplay "BOHEMIAN." So I have a good excuse for ignoring my blog.

Prague is wonderful. I love it here so very much. It's weird though, as everyone's thoughts turn to leaving, I'm not sure how to describe the feeling. I want to be home with my friends and family. I also want to be here, with these friends and in this place with so much to teach me.

It's paradoxical.

I have this paralyzing fear that I'll come back and turn into "Old Elyz" again. So maybe that's why I'd like to stay...

When we were in Cesky Krumlov a friend wondered aloud what would happen if someone decided to just stay. It's an incredible thought. It's like quicksand of the imagination. To stay, to write and act and serve...here.

And then reality kicks you in the face with a Bachelor's Degree and an Apartment Lease and your pitiful friends and family who would be devastated. So for all those friends and family--I'm not staying, don't freak out.

But the thought is overpowering.

Adventure. Discovery. Freedom. All the things I've found here and found in myself are so heavy, I'm not sure I'll be able to adapt to America again.

Another friend here who has been many places and served in the Peace Corps as well said that she felt like she'd been so many places that none of them felt like home anymore.

Being a Christian I don't mind that as much, but it's still a striking statement. Your home is everywhere and yet nowhere. I am sure that my Home is with my Maker, but while I'm here it all feels like a foreign land.

I said I'd die for Christ in class the other day. I don't think I've ever been more filled with the Spirit. And simply my being able to say that is an encouragement to myself that I have changed. Not that I wouldn't before, but that I'd say that to a class full of not-necessarily-Christian peers.

Not to say I've arrived or am some super-Christian now by any means. But I know whom I serve and it's good to know that my tongue is learning some discipline.

The people here are getting restless. I can't believe no one thought to use this opportunity as a reality show! 50 NCSU students living in the same Hostel for 6 weeks straight! People are either loving or hating each other at this point, which makes everything a bit more complicated.

But life is beautiful like that, and complicated.

Anyway, I'll try to post again later. I've got a concert to catch today!

The Roma,
~Elyz~